Adrian Bacon

On little Larry’s first day of first grade, he raised his hand as soon as the teacher came into the room and said, “I don’t belong here, I should be in third grade!”

The teacher looked at little Larry’s records and told him to please take his seat.

Not five minutes passed when little Larry stood up again and said, “I don’t belong here, I should be in the third grade!”

Larry did this a few more times before the principal came along and the teacher explained Larry’s problem. The principal and the first grade teacher told little Larry that if he could answer some questions that they could decide in which grade he belonged. Well, they soon discovered that Larry knew all the state capitals and country capitals that the principal could think of.

The teacher suggested they try some biology questions … “What does a cow have 4 of but a woman has only 2?” asked the teacher.

“Legs!” Larry immediately replied. “What does a man have in his pants that a woman doesn’t?” asked the teacher.

“Pockets!” said Larry.

The teacher looked at the principal, who said, “Maybe he should be in third grade, I missed those last two questions!”

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. 

“Now, class, closely observe the worms,” said the professor while putting a worm into the water. 

The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. He then put the second worm into the whiskey. It curled up and writhed about  painfully, then quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. 

“Now, what lesson can we learn from this experiment?” the professor asked. 

Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded confidently, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms.”

Today started normal enough.  My alarm went off at 6am, I got up, took a shower, got ready for work and went to work.

I was a little tired feeling, and had a slightly upset stomach, but otherwise didn’t really feel bad. Once at work, I started doing my usual daily routine stuff.

That lasted for about an hour and a half.

I started feeling really green around the gills, and my stomach really started to feel like I had fed it something really bad.  A quick “Hey I gotta go home, not feeling so hot” to the boss man later, and I was on my way home, struggling not to completely lose my cookies in the car.

Once at home, it was a quick change into something not work related, and some praying at the porcelain throne.  I then started to feel the raging head-ache and roiling stomach.

I crawled into bed.  Next thing I knew, it was about 1pm, and I was feeling woozy and surprisingly hungry.  Since my stomach was still feeling a little raw, I decided upon some soup.

 After the soup, I felt a lot better, but still laid back down and passed out.

Next thing I know, Mom is knocking on my door.  She happened to be in the neighborhood and saw my car home in the middle of the day, so decided to check in.

We talked for a good couple of hours about stuff, dad, things going on, life, etc.  It was actually quite good.

After that, I piddled around the house for a little bit, had a really light dinner, and now, here I am typing this.  I’m not sure if I’m going to go to work tomorrow simply because I’m still feeling a little raw and have a head-ache, but tomorrow is a new day.

Maybe I’ll go to Australia.

I’ve not actually spent time in jail as an inmate, however, I had an experience at Walmart that has proven to be a little upsetting.

This happened right before I wrote this post.  I had just finished editing the latest version of Linux News Log Season #10 Episode #03, and was running some errands while waiting for my file to finish rendering out.

I had a few items to buy, had them in my cart and was standing in the express check out line, when two guys got in line behind me.  One was talking loudly and referring to everybody as “bro”.  I was attempting to ignore them, since I was in a hurry.

The loud guy said “I should get my I.D. out and have it ready”, which he proceeded to do, and laid it down on the conveyor belt.  The guy he was with said “That’s a terrible picture of you.”  The loud guy said “That’s nothing bro, check this out!”  He then proceeded to pull out his Arizona Department of Corrections Released Offender Identification Card and showed it to his friend.  He then stuck it in my face.  ”Check that out bro!”

I am instantly off-put, irritated, and angry.  Loud guy is acting like it’s a badge of honor, like it is his “I’m a badass, I’ve been to jail” card, and that we should all worship him at his feet.

I do my best to act neutral and un-interested despite my near overwhelming urge to punch him as hard as I can for so overtly invading and violating my space.  It suddenly completely strikes me how into himself this guy is and how completely oblivious he is to his surroundings and the effect he’s having on others.  You’ve been to jail.  Congratulations.  I hope we never see each other again in my lifetime. I hope some day you get the better of whatever disease is now your Dark Sith Lord and Master, because if you don’t, it will kill you.  Believe me, I know from up close and personal experience.

I proceed to go through the check out process and leave Walmart as quickly as possible so I can try to slow down the seething anger and rage that I’m on the verge of losing control over.  Little does loud guy know that he’s acting like a bad ass to somebody who knows way more about the inner workings of the jail system in Arizona that your average person…  He thinks it’s impressive, but in reality, there is nothing impressive about it. Even though I’ve never been in jail, I am a son to someone who has, and despite way more therapy and treatment than I’m willing to publicly admit to, my childhood still deeply affects me in ways that sometimes prove to be volatile and unpredictable.

It all happened when I was in 2nd through 5th grade.  Dad was succumbing to his disease, there were five of us kids.  One night, dad didn’t come home.  He got busted.  I won’t go into specifics here, but suffice it to say that his offense was way more than just drinking and driving.  After that night, for the next few years, the only time I saw my dad was when Mom took me down to the Madison Street Jail here in Phoenix for visitation.  He wrote a lot of letters to us kids.  I still have them. I still vividly remember the screening process that the security guards at the jail followed to make sure you weren’t trying to smuggle something into the jail.  As a child, it was really scary.  Then once we got through the screening process and got to the room where I could actually see my dad, we weren’t allowed to come within three feet of each other and there was a big guard right there to make sure that nothing happened.  Unfortunately, it was enough of a disconnect that nothing really did happen.  During those years, Mom did what she could, but never really did make ends meet.  Despite all the assistance programs out there, when you have 5 kids, its never enough.  We spent a lot of time on the street while Mom was trying to make ends meet.  Even after Dad was released, he was not allowed to be within 100 yards of us kids without a court appointed supervisor present.  This went on for quite some time.  It wasn’t until I was entering into Junior High that dad was finally allowed to stay at home and be with us kids without a supervisor.  That whole thing is a giant source of anger and rage for me. It still pokes it’s head up from time to time like this evening when Loud Guy shoved his badge of dishonor into my face.

Fortunately, the judge and prosecutor had good enough judgement to order the entire family into treatment.  If it had not been for that, I would be much worse off today than I am now, and for that I am thankful.

Dad did eventually clean up his life.  All through my Junior High and High School years as well as early 20s, he was clean and sober and doing really good.  I cherish those years.  He was a dad.  He was my dad, and he was actually there and present and involved.  Life was great.

Then, he had a heart attack.  He had lots of heart muscle damage and had triple bypass heart surgery.  He never got the chance to ever fully recover from that, because shortly thereafter, his mother passed away.  Since then, he’s suffered a bit of a relapse and is back in his disease of addiction.  He’s also since had a multitude of heart and health issues over the past several years.  Even worse, he doesn’t seem to want to get better.  Of all things, that is the most painful.  As a child, I knew what I wanted from him, but never really got to experience what I had missed, and now that I have, it hurts even more and has had the effect of throwing fuel on the fire of my own problems.

All the other kids have moved out of state, perhaps in hopes of escaping the inherent addiction chaos and starting anew.  I am the last remaining hold out so to speak… I see to it that I at least see or do something with him every week in hopes of encouraging him to get better.  My hope is that one of these days, Dad will once again be the dad he was when things were good, so he can then be a great dad to his children, and a grand-dad to his children’s children.

Unfortunately, I fear that my time to help is nearing an end, as his condition hasn’t done anything but get progressively worse.

I can only hope that he soon decides to best his Dark Sith Lord and Master, and when he does, I’ll be right there to support and help in any way that I can be of service.

I know, I know… blogging about the weather… Well, it’s a start, besides, it almost never rains in Phoenix.  The temperature outside is 67 degrees Fahrenheit, and it looks like it’s going to be a little overcast the next few days.

I just bought adrianbacon.com, which should be pointing to this blog now… if not, it will in the next 24-48 hours or so…  Things are moving along nicely, now I just need to figure out how to get my old blog entries into here.

The job I’m working at right now had me take a DISC behavioral analysis test as part of a program that they are doing to help everybody self improve. I’ve written about DISC here on my website before, but this is actually the first test I’ve taken in a really long time. I’ve decided to do some very public soul baring and navel gazing, but what I’m about to share of my test results is only a small subset of the 23 pages of results I received. Keep in mind that a lot of this pertains to how I’m going to act in a business environment, but some things strongly bleed over to my personal life as well. So with that out of the way, here we go…

General Characteristics

Adrian is a seemingly inexhaustible investigator of facts, and will pursue all possible avenues for a solution to a problem. While he may not be a perfectionist with all things, he has certain activities that will always be done with the same high standards in mind. To some people, Adrian may appear to be analytical. He wants to have contact with a variety of individuals within an environment that is both pressure and results-oriented. In the long run, he prefers quality over quantity. The new and the unusual attract him, if they also represent high quality. He likes to work behind the scene and be seen as someone who is organized and has his life in order. He is able to focus on projects with a vision that often results in penetrating insights. Adrian is alert and sensitive to his errors and mistakes. He constantly seeks to avoid errors in his work. Precision and accuracy are important to him. Adrian takes pride in his competence or his ability to understand all the facts of a situation. He is good at concentrating on data while looking for the best method of solving the problem. Others may see him as vacillating on decisions, but he is only attempting to make the right decision the first time around. He, capable of making daily decisions routinely, usually becomes cautious about the bigger decisions; he wants to be absolutely certain his decision is correct. He prefers to study and analyze a problem before responding. He wants to feel that his response is the correct one. Adrian follows company policy, if aware of it. He is a critical and systematic thinker, and this strength may not be easily recognized by others. He tends to become bogged down in details. He may accumulate so much data that the details overwhelm him. He can be seen as a thinker whose intuitive talents can bring divergent ideas to the forefront. Adrian likes to know what is expected of him in a working relationship, and have the duties and responsibilities of others who will be involved explained. Communication is accomplished best by well-defined avenues. He enjoys analyzing the motives of others. This allows him to develop his intuitive skills. When Adrian is deeply involved in thinking through a project, he may appear to be cool and distant. Adrian’s logical, methodical way of gathering data is demonstrated by his ability to ask the right questions at the right time. Adrian can be outgoing at times. Basically introverted, he will engage in social conversation when the occasion warrants. He is intuitive and is able to ask good questions in order to get the critical, complete information he seeks. He likes to ask questions to clarify the communications. He gathers data in order to be certain he is correct in his work, communications or decision making. He prefers meetings that start and finish on time. He may get upset with people who do not adhere to rules and how things “should be done.” I’d say this is a frighteningly accurate assessment of me. I’m that way almost to a fault.

Value To The Organization

• Accurate and intuitive
• Suspicious of people with shallow ideas
• Tough-minded
• Proficient and skilled in his technical specialty
• Always concerned about quality work
• Objective–”The anchor of reality.”
• Excellent troubleshooter
• Conscientious and steady
• Objective and realistic

I’d say this about accurate. I’m not into bullshit, and I don’t like my time being wasted by others who aren’t keeping it real.

Areas for Improvement

Adrian has a tendency to:

• Hesitate to act without precedent
• Be defensive when threatened and use the errors and mistakes of others to defend his position
• Fail to tell others where he stands on an issue
• Lean on supervisors if information and direction is not clear
• Tell ideas as opposed to sell ideas
• Appear somewhat aloof and cool to the emotional appeal of others
• Be suspicious and pessimistic of any new project. Wants more support than is necessary

Clearly, I have some amount of improvement to work on. I’m a little peeved about the telling ideas as opposed to selling ideas… I can’t stand people who try to sell me on stuff because they are basically asking me to trust them, and trust is to be earned, not taken for granted. As a result, I try not to sell ideas, I just tell about an idea I have an let the other person decide if they like it. If it’s a good idea, I shouldn’t have to sell it.

Other Notes of Interest

There are do’s and don’ts listed for communicating with me, I’ll provide a brief summary: Do’s: Show some respect, be prepared, and stick to business. Don’ts: Don’t invade my body space, don’t say “trust me” – you must earn it, don’t be redundant, disorganized, or vague. Don’t pretend to be an expert if you are not – I am frighteningly good at weeding out the posers, so just keep it real and you’ll be fine.

Conclusion

There’s a lot of data that I’ve not yet parsed/analyzed so I may update this as I have more. Obviously, this is all speaking in generalities, and I’m not going to do one big copy/paste, but it’s some pretty interesting stuff. They also included some worksheets and self improvement exercises for the areas where I need to improve, so I’ll be going through some of that and practicing that at work over the next couple of weeks. Hopefully, I won’t get too bogged down with all the information.

Well, it’s been quite a year. I’ve had some huge disappointments, and there have been some priceless moments.

It’s all been a huge learning experience, which makes for a nicely aging Adrian.

So, what’s in store between now and when I turn 34 next year? I don’t know. I’ve got some personal projects that I want to work on, and a couple of issues I’ve yet to work out.

Given what’s transpired this past year, I wouldn’t mind a bit if I had some “breathe” time to just process.

I’ve just done a whole post talking about the past year without specifically mentioning anything… Well if you know me in real life, you’ll know what I’m talking about, otherwise, you’ll need to get to know me in real life because that’s just how it is.

For some of the stuff I’m working on, you’ll hear more about it later when I’ve got it closer to being ready to publicly talk about.

Till then, watch this space.