21 Things You Wish You Could Say At Work

  1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of it.
  2. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t care.
  3. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word.
  4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
  5. Ahh, I see the screw up fairy has visited again.
  6. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
  7. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
  8. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
  9. Someday we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
  10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
  11. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
  12. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
  13. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
  14. What am I? Flypaper for geeks?
  15. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignifigant.
  16. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
  17. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got Karma to burn off.
  18. No, my powers can be used only for good.
  19. I’m really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
  20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
  21. How about “never”? Is “never” good for you?